A year and a half ago, a son of ours was going through “senioritis”. That’s the term used by the teachers at our school to describe the attitude of seniors in high school when they lose interest in studying. This usually happens once they are accepted to college or when they feel they have the required credits to graduate. I guess it’s a reaction from the grind of secondary education.
As parents, we always wish the best for our children. Our biases make us believe that they carry so much potential and we just want them to be the best they could be. But, this senioritis is really something that can’t be controlled and it seems to affect most of them. Basically, it was getting on my nerves. One day I turned to Master Hsu for advice.
With his gentle manner and great wisdom, Master Hsu guided me to view the situation from a different angle. To be honest, I don’t know what I was expecting of my son, but felt something was lacking. “Everyone has their own timing; you cannot force anyone if they don’t want to do it.”
It really made me think. He’s absolutely right. We all mature and grow at different times. Just because society says it’s time to do something, doesn’t mean we all must conform to the expected timing dictated by the norm. Yes, it would be more convenient if we did coincide with society’s timing of expectations, but in reality, there is no rule saying that at a particular age we must be a certain way. Master Hsu always has that ability to step back and see the “big picture”.
I am grateful to say, Master Hsu’s advice to accept and embrace my son, has allowed me to see his growth. With his first year in college under his belt, I am happy to see him comfortable in his own skin. We are grateful to see how he is enjoying life. So, the other day I thanked my master for his guidance and after a year and a half I can see how true his words were. Then, he told me what his great Chinese master had taught him on love.
“To love is to let the other person lead their own life”.
I am taking my time to understand these words of wisdom.
photo by Aunt Owwee