Thoughts on “Chinese Moms are Superior”, the Dragon Mom

Many of my friends have been talking about the article Chinese Moms are Superior by Amy Chua in the WSJ  If you haven’t read it, please click here.   Are they really superior and if so, how and why?

As a Japanese mom, I was curious to know how we differ from Chinese Moms in raising our children.   Like all parents, we want the best for our children and Amy is no different. Her methods may be extreme, harsh and even cold blooded to many Westerners, but as an Asian mom myself, I get her. Although I can’t use her methods of discipline, such as no T.V. or computer games, no sleep overs, no grade less than an A, etc., etc.,  the underlying fact is that she knows her children and their abilities extremely well because she actually spends a lot of time with them. Regardless if it’s time practicing piano or doing math problems, by tutoring them and sitting together with them, you can feel her total commitment. I understand that not all of us can help our kids in every subject, but to seek help in any form sends the message to the kids that ‘you care‘. And that, to me, is a big message.

My master always reminds me to look at the “bigger picture”.  And he’s often right.  Amy’s methods are “small picture” yet her intention and what she does  for them is “big picture”.  It’s the way some Asians show they care. As long as the kids and parents understand this, I think there is no reason to fret, it’s just a different approach to parenting.  There is no one way to parent because all circumstances and situations are unique.

However, when the message isn’t coming across to the child and they think the parents are doing this as a form of torture , then there could be issues due to  miscommunication.  When kids think a parent wants to get rid of them to satisfy their own pleasures, the neglect may cause unforeseen problems.

In my multicultural home, we try to do the best we can under the circumstances.  I have found that exposing our children to Japanese, British, Hawaiian and American cultures have helped them understand their own background, helping them to become more comfortable in their own skin.  So embrace your culture, wherever you are from and  be open to learning about other cultures.  By doing so, we will have a better understanding of others

And finally, I found an article that was written by one of Amy’s daughters, Sophia.  Please read her daughter’s response, Why I Love My Strict Chinese Mom by clicking here.  All I can say is, congratulations to Amy and her husband for raising a wonderful daughter!

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