sunset-1759718_640Relationships are complicated.  Only those in the relationship understand what’s going on between them.  Even if you’re the one in the relationship, we often wonder why they come to an end.

The other day, I was talking with group of my girlfriends and the subject of friendships and relationships came up.  As the year is coming to an end, we were reflecting on events in our life over the past year.

Being grateful for our friendships and the health of our family was first and foremost.  Then we discussed the sadness of losing family, friends, and relationships.  As this is part of everyone’s life, we became philosophical.  Sometimes, we just want to understand why these things happen in life.  Why do relationships come to an end?

I then reflected on one of my relationships with a teacher/friend.   In the beginning the relationship grew organically, and over time it evolved.  What I didn’t realize at the time, was how eventually, the dynamic of the relationship had changed.  When did it change?  Why did it change?  How did it change?

Then, one day I realized that it had changed so much that I found the relationship was having a negative impact on me.  And at that point, I decided it was time to move on.  It was a very sad and hurtful time.  I replayed the scenario of events in my mind over and over again, wondering how the relationship changed.

I’m lucky that I have my mentor, Dr. Hsu, to help me through these situations.  I asked him about why some relationships come to an end.

Dr. Hsu says relationships end when the karma with that person ends.  Karma is our destiny.  We meet people in this life because we are supposed to meet them.  Relationships develop because we learn and grow from each other.  Every experience is a moment of growth.  In every relationship, when the lesson we need to learn from each other ends, the relationship comes to an end.  The karma between you and that person is over, and therefore, it’s time to move on.  There is no good or bad.  We went through the process of our karma and the life lesson is complete.

Instead of dwelling on the questions of “why did this happen?”, the end of karma thought process has allowed me to move on with no sense of remorse.  This is just the way it was supposed to play out with no ill feelings.

As the new year approaches, it’s good to let go of the past we cannot change.  I am reminded that it’s important to keep moving forward with an open mind and open heart.

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